Should you have SEX on the First Date?

This is quite a controversial topic since everyone will tell you left and right NOT TO DO IT. To some extent, I agree. But on the flip side, there’s also that voice that tells you to QUIT PLAYING MIND GAMES and just do what you honestly feel. Women, in particular, are hounded by this. We women are always stuck with having to use our brain, our heart or our libido. Here, I will outline what you should consider before picking either option.

WHY YOU SHOULDN’T DO IT:

  • Because you have to get to know the person more before you decide to let him/her into such an intimate part of your life. For the ladies, you don’t want to give him a freebie for simply knowing you. You feel that he has to earn it. Besides, the chasing game can be fun, if you have a lot of time to spare.

 

  • Because sex comes with consequences. You don’t want to contract an STD (God forbid!) or get pregnant by/ father someone who is not invested in you or you’re not invested in. I know of a girl who slept with someone on her first Tinder date. She got pregnant and when she told the father of the baby, he completely disowned her and the child. This wouldn’t have been the case if he got to know her on a deeper level and really established (at least) a friendship with her. She’s now raising the child on her own, which is a brave thing to do… but also extremely difficult.

 

  • Because the age old adage may be true“Easy come easy go.” A lot of men I have talked to say that the easier it is to sleep with a woman, the easier it is for them to leave her. A male friend of mine said “If it’s easy for her to sleep with me, I can’t shake off the idea of how many others were there like me she had already gone to bed with on the first date.” The feminist side of me felt like arguing my way around this statement, but apparently, a lot of men agree.

 

  • Because you want to keep your reputation. If men sleep around, he’s branded as someone full of machismo. He’s considered as an idol among his male peers. But, put a woman in his shoes, and she’s immediately branded a slut. I am completely against slut shaming, but this is something that society hasn’t refigured yet. It’s just something we have to roll with, and protesting is out of the question.

 

WHY YOU SHOULD DO IT:

  • Because life is short and you wouldn’t want to waste your time. This is pretty self-explanatory. Who knows when you will meet this person again? By the time you do, you may not have the same feelings towards him anymore. Also, as some of my male friends point out, “Before you buy the car, you have to test drive it.” Same concept applies to sex. You don’t want to invest a whole lot of feelings for this person, and then find out months later that you’re far from being sexually compatible.

 

  • Because your attraction level is so strong and you just can’t help yourself. You may have known this person for quite a while, and you may be so physically attracted. When this happens, you chuck out the decision making struggle and just go with it.

 

  • Because you want to be true to yourself. Enough with the mind games. You want his person and you want him/her NOW.

 

  • Because it’s been so long. You’ve been out of the dating scene for awhile and the idea of someone coming on to you is just too irresistible. You tell yourself, just this once, like it isn’t gonna hurt in the morning.

 

  • Because you don’t care what people say. What you do is your business. Not theirs. In your mind, they’re just jealous because they’re not getting some. And you are!

 

A FINAL WORD. 

Whatever it is you decide to choose, just know that either option comes with its own set of benefits and consequences. Just always be SAFE. Wear condoms, take your pills, whatever floats your boat. At the end of the day, experiences, whatever they may be, influence our future in one way or the other. It’s all up to you what you make of it.

****

EMAIL ME: breakupcoachonline@gmail.com

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