Sex is simple; It’s everything surrounding sex that’s wildly complicated.
And just because this is about the things all guys really appreciate during sex, sex is actually about two people (or hey, three or four) taking care of each other’s needs. You should be with someone who is willing (and excited) to give you the same respect and attention in the bedroom he himself wants.
1. An orgasm. Although this is not to say that sex can’t be awesome without one. But orgasms are kind of why you show up to sex in the first place, much the same way the only reason anyone goes to baseball games is to eat hot dogs. Sure, the game is fun, but if you don’t get a hot dog, why did you go?
2. Enthusiasm. Enthusiasm goes a long way, and hopefully you and your partner are both very enthusiastic in bed. That in and of itself is a huge turn on. The opposite end of the spectrum for anyone would mean just laying there while having sex done to you. And while there are probably some people out there that would… appreciate… that, most people would probably find it off-putting.
3. Ambient noise. Absolute and complete silence during sex usually means you’re not enjoying yourself or worse, you’re asleep. So by all means, be vocal. It’s the best barometer he has for knowing if he’s doing it right.
4. Foreplay. Foreplay is incredibly important. Without foreplay, it’s like a roller coaster without that slow climb to the top of the track. It’s just the drop. The anticipation is key. Granted, rides that are just drops are literally “Tower Drop” rides and (like foreplay) they have their time and place. But they’re not as good as roller coasters. This is a fact.
5. The lights on. Men are all about the visuals. So of course they’d like to have the lights on so they can stare deep into your boobs eyes during sex.
6. Compliments. It’s not like he needs to hear “good job! You’re doing great!” every thirty seconds, but a little bit of positive dirty talk goes a long way. Say some nice things about his penis if you’re ready to wrap things up.
7. Communication. Communication is critical to good sex. That doesn’t mean you need to be shouting out plays or stopping mid-coitous to make a pros and cons list of doggy style. Your foreplay doesn’t need to be trust falls. Communication can involve talking, but it can also be through wordless understanding. Or maybe expressing a desire to try new things beforehand so you can feel it out without stopping the action. Essentially, it’s about working as a team to get each other off.
8. Variety. Variety is always great. It’s why people love buffets. Using more than one position is never a bad thing.
9. A shared workload. No one wants to do all the work. Give each other a break from thrusting and grinding and all the other sex verbs you’re doing to get off.
10. A post-sex nap. Sex is exhausting. Sleep it off.